Weekend wrap for round 6 against University and final round of T20s
1st grade
University 7/296 (50) def Wanneroo 10/156 (44)
On what was possibly WA’s flattest wicket ever recorded, the mighty Roos took on Uni. Caiden (tree trunks) Eaton unfortunately lost the toss, and we were sent in to bowl. Caiden opened the bowling alongside Lachy (high waistline) Poulter but both struggled early, as the ball was coming onto the bat like Maio hits on women — hard and fast (allegedly).
Nick (4’5”) Maiolo was the pick of the bowlers, going for just 1/27 off his 10 overs. Uni managed to scrape their way through to 296, with Maff (Wallace) Carroll and Caiden (Curator at Fletcher) Eaton both taking two wickets apiece.
Spirits were still high after watching how flat the Kwinana Freeway was, and we were confident about the chase. Braiden (one hamstring) Hudson and Mitch (Jordan’s brother) Slattery started positively, but soon the real Kingsway turned up — balls started going underground, the wicket began to spin, and before long we found ourselves 5/74.
With a bit of resilience, Tristan (Eric) Hearmon dug in for a well-made 38, but with little support at the other end, we were eventually bowled out for 156. Not the result we were after, but plenty to take into next week’s clash against Gosnells.
2nd Grade
Wanneroo 6/209 (50) def by University 8/213 (48.4)
No write-up submitted
3rd Grade
Wanneroo 7/236 (45) def University 9/155 (45)
Another Saturday dawned and it was once again time for the mighty Shlongy 3s to take on the world. But this Saturday began with an unusual twist. We were on the receiving end of a domination, being severely outnumbered at revenant cafe. As if last season’s antics hadn’t already lit the rivalry aflame, this was the spark that turned it personal.
When we arrived at the ground, outrage struck again. The uncs — Donny “I don’t like having a coffee with the boys” Fryer and Greg “how am I a lawyer?” Maher — were seen applying a premium layer of glaze to one particularly ripe strawberry (the bloke who scored all the runs and took all the wickets — ahahahaha taste lol). Once the uncs were done spreading their glaze, it was time to play. Captain Schlongy won the toss and, in true Shlong fashion, decided we’d have a stick first.
The innings began with Mahbo instantly quadrupling his season average off his first ball — the lid was officially off. His opening partner, Kai “I reckon I’m the biggest dawg in prem cricket”, decided he didn’t fancy a visit to Gay St next week, so he played all around a straight one, a tactical dismissal. Tom “that’s just what they call me” Silver Lightning Blythman (and yes, that’s on the birth certificate) got cleaned up by a short one, and Donny decided he’d chased enough Paul Lucases for one week. Leave it to Tom, mate.
After a couple of posers got out, the big boys clocked in. Mahbo and Tyler “TB” Brown began dismantling the bowling with surgical precision and romantic elegance — carving multiple glorious, elevated off drives that could’ve provided some good film for the 3s next group goon sesh. As their partnership grew, so did the swelling of Mahbo’s foot, probably costing TB about 27 runs with the lack of running going on (TB did hit a pretty good looking six though).
With his foot hanging by a thread, Mahbo decided there was no point holding back. He unleashed what might be the finest stroke ever witnessed in Shlongy history to bring up his ton, then celebrated in true style — whipping out his long super dog, pouring mustard over it, and offering each Uni player a bite. They accepted.
As is often the cruel way of cricket, it was 100 and out for Mahbo. TB steered the rest of the innings masterfully, and the runs continued to flow until we closed at 236 — a total that had the Shlongy camp buzzing.
Then came the fun part — the bowling. Donny and Cody “Freaky” Billington took the new ball and immediately set the tone, bowling with laser precision (both these blokes like it tight — if you know, you know). They each snared early wickets, though it could’ve been more if Jayden “I don’t drop catches” Rotham hadn’t grassed the easiest chance of all time. Just tell Cody you hate him, mate.
Next up, Owen “Shlongy Rakesh” Brown and Jordan (Gordo for those unaware he owns a first name) “Shlongy” Marinovich carried on — though apparently not fans of tightness like the openers, going at 4s instead of 2s. Disgraceful. Still, Rakesh grabbed a handy wicket just after some bloke pulled off a run-out and let everyone know that he’s done it before. Relax, Mr. TFC.
Finally, the mop squad arrived — Silver and Frotham. As per, they cleaned up the tail, padding their stats look go to try sneak in a vote. Nothing new for two lads who think they’re local legends.
In truth, Uni looked cooked from the start. How you play a full one-dayer and only get 150 without being bowled out isn’t well. But we weren’t complaining — it locked in the Shlongy 3s’ fifth win of the season.
Next week we march to the steamy wasteland that is Gay St. Please don’t let it be hot. We’re locked, loaded, and ready to make it six on the trot. Remember to empty those bags Friday night!!!
4th Grade
Wanneroo 4/238 (45) def University 10/90 (26.3)
No write-up submitted
Premier T20s
Wanneroo 10/113 (18.4) def by Joondalup 0/115 (9)
Batting first, Wanneroo got off to a promising start with some crisp stroke play at the top of the order. However, Joondalup’s bowlers found their rhythm mid-innings, applying pressure with disciplined lines and sharp fielding. Despite a few late boundaries, Wanneroo finished with a competitive total that kept the game wide open.
Joondalup’s chase began steadily before a quick flurry of wickets brought Wanneroo right back into the contest. What followed was a display of calm, clever batting from Joondalup’s middle order, who guided their side home with a few overs to spare. The win was sealed with a boundary to fine leg — a fitting end to a well-fought game.
While Joondalup claimed the victory on the scoreboard, the true winner on the day was the spirit of cricket. Both teams played hard but fair, showing respect for the game, the umpires, and each other. The sportsmanship, laughter, and camaraderie shared between players reminded everyone why we love this great game
Colts
Joondalup 6/148 (20) def Wanneroo 10/101 (17.3)
The colters took on Joondalup at Iluka in the later fixture on Sunday. Tristan “Eric” Hearmon won the toss and elected to bowl on a flatty (cheers trist).
Joondalup got off to a hot start but the first wicket came in the 5 over with Hayden “goes down to his ankles” Davey skittling their opener and telling him where to go. The boys bowled well but some good batting got them away from us a bit, but a strong fight back in the last 6 overs held Joondalup to 148 and a very gettable score.
The roos took 10 off the first over and after that there wasn’t much to be happy about as we lost 7 for 45. A handy partnership from Brock “prodigy” Prance and Codsta Billz Poppin Pillz with Brock finishing on 32 off 23, but in the end the roo boys we all out for 101.
A good few games and big improvements this season for the colters, narrowly missing out of finals.