Weekend wrap v Subi – Third Grade

3rd Grade spent two glorious Saturday’s in the affluent suburb of Floreat, surrounded by grand real estate leafy foliage.

After watching Aryan “A.V. DeBilliers” Versani clip a century in the 17s, skipper Mike “Adagrhrr” Ardagh won the toss and elected to bat, looking happier than Lachie Poulter finding a Tinder Match.

Openers Ardagh and Allan “Not Small” Hall continued their early season consistency, falling in consecutive overs for the 3rd game in a row. Jack “J-Mac” McDonald followed shortly after, and when Varsani couldn’t replicate his morning heroics after reaching 20, the visiting Roos were a little unsteady at 4/60.

As the old saying goes, “Cometh the hour, cometh Gra & Slatts”. And so it was true on this occasion, as Graeme “2019 Life Member?” Atkinson and Mitch “The Favourite” Slattery combined in a beautiful fusion of youth and wisdom. The pair batted the Trust Tree out of danger, then led the team into the bountiful pastures of junk time runs. Unfortunately for Atkinson, so delighted was he to find the oasis of runs, that he overindulged and found himself caught for 68.

If Subiaco-Floreat thought they could sniff a change in momentum, their noses were deceiving them, as the youngest Slattery found a new and possibly even more powerful ally in Donavinn “The Don” Fryer. Buoyed by his home country’s thus far successful Rugby World Cup campaign, the Frequent Fryer channeled his inner Lance Klusener and clubbed the shell-shocked Subi lads to all parts of Alderbury. Indeed, several residents were spotted on the phone to their insurance companies to check their window-related coverage and adjust their excesses accordingly.

Mitch, meanwhile, played the ultimate supporting role, quietly accruing runs like a diligent school child investing in their Dolarmite account throughout their Primary school years. Proud father Andrew Slattery was heard muttering that there would be no question which son would be receiving the best cut of steak at the dinner table that night.

By the time Slattery & Fryer had finished their Lapa-inspired feast of runs, they had broken the modern (post-MyCricket) WDCC 3rd Grade 6th wicket partnership with a whopping 169, falling just short of the club record for the 6th wicket (174, shout out to Dan Peters and Paul Dilena).

Fryer was the man to depart, caught and bowled for 91 as the total had reached 6/295.

Amidst the frantic final over flurry of runs, young Slattery sacrificed his potential red-ink for the team, run out for a masterful 89. And as the dust settled and the sun set in Floreat, the scoreboard gleamed with a triumphant 8/306 proudly on display.

Spirits were dampened mid-week, as the heavens opened on several occasions up to and including the Saturday required to defend such an imposing total. Much appreciation and respect should be given to the Subi-Floreat grounds man or woman, as they dutifully protected the pitch and square, such that play was underway within 20 minutes of the regular starting time.

The Wanneroo boys were in a positive and jovial mood, given that no 3rd Grade team in the history of global cricket has ever chased down 306 at Alderbury in the year 2019.

Fryer was paired with a contender for favourite Slattery son, the softly spoken yet surprisingly difficult to face Jordan “Katie Price” Slattery. The pair bowled smartly together, complimenting one another both figuratively and oratorically, before Fryer made the initial breakthrough via the method of stump rearrangement.

After some brief resistance, skipper Ardagh made the breakthrough with a smart catch behind the stumps by Mitch Slattery, well placed at this stage to go back-to-back recipient of the biggest steak.

Yet more grafting followed, with patience being the order of the day as the run rate slowly moved in the opposite direction of variable interest rates set by the Federal Reserve in the previous decade.

Eventually cracks began to show, and Darcy “The Big D” Forssman whittled out Subi’s 1st drop before J. Slattery made his claim for the Tomahawk steak by nicking off the new batsmen for a golden duck.

A similar story played out as Subi-Floreat reached 150 before the next wicket was unearthed by Lachie “LP Gas” Poulter. Before even Lachie could update his Tinder profile with his latest stat, he’d taken another wicket and victory was getting closer than the kick-off time of the World Cup Rugby Grand Final.

Subi’s resolute Captain received a life after skying a ball into the blazing sun, with Hall unable to move the required three feet to catch the ball after being blinded by the aforementioned fireball.

The reprieve was short-lived, as he became the 1st victim of Jared “Juice” Maunder with a handy catch completed by McDonald.

After some lusty and ultimately fruitless blows from Subi’s B. Lockwood, Maunder re-arranged the stumps and provided some advice to the outgoing batsman which only the genius possess and the insane lament. Maunder finished with 2/46.

Slattery (of the Jordan variety) snared the penultimate wicket, achieving the best bowling figures of the day (2/27) and thus securing the lobster thermidore from his brother.

After missing most of the Rugby World Cup Final, Fryer finally took the last wicket to finish with figures of 2/43. He looked much like a famous South African sprinter as he bolted faster than a speeding bullet on his way to the nearest television.

The Wanneroo boys, sans Fryer, gathered in the cozy change rooms to reflect on their 93 run victory and sing the Club song heartily whilst exchanging strong eye contact with one another.

This 10 point win for 3rd Grade sees them parachute into 6th place in the ladder, with a home game vs. South Perth to come. With any luck, the adjoining water park will be complete by then.

As always, a huge thank you to our scorer Jeanne Atkinson and our Manager Keith Atkinson, as well as all our loyal supporters, parents, partners and randoms walking behind the bowler’s arm.

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